once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
