You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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