the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
