I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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