Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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