So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I am full of burrito and curiosity
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
