She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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