The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you still have your period?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize