Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
