yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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