I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
