if i can run in heels then i can drive
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
