don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
