I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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