that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
