you traded sex for a burrito?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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