Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
