I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
