next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
