Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
