Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
