yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
