three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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