you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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