I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
