I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
