while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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