I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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