I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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