Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
