i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
