dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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