Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
