i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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