Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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