i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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