Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
