Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
as a side note pls kill me
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
