D3 body, D1 cock
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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