you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
