It's like God shit irony all over that family
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
