Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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