you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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