so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
