Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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