I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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