I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Randomize