I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
