69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
did i just pee glitter
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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