You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
