Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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