And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
