Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
