Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
