I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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