I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
