so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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