y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
