i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
