I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
As shirtless as possible
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
