Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
operation have a gay friend backfired
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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