if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
