STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
