You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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