Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
