Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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