the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
