my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
