No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
