ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
