Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
