I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
