You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
whose ass print is on the piano?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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