While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
smell my finger.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
