Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
