she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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