And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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